10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns & Arguments :: Kirk Martin [Ep 139]

Oct 24, 2016

Got tantrums? Stuck in head-t0-head battles with your kiddos?

Good news. Calm parenting expert, Kirk Martin, is back on the show.

Not just to get behavior to change but to strengthen the relationship. To give us phrases and techniques to stay calm in stressful situations. To step back and allow our kids to step up in taking responsibility and solving problems.


After a fight we want our kids to “say sorry right now”.  Kirk encourages us to:

Trust that we taught our kids the right thing. And believe our children will humble themselves to make it right.

This is my favorite conversation I’ve had with Kirk. We get deep into the heart behind our control issues. We narrow in on pride and shame (both in our kids and ourselves). He shares several helpful phrases to use in the heat of the moment. Ones I’ve had the “opportunity” to use several times this past week.

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What we chat about:

  • The phrase to use when your child is procrastinating.
  • Recognizing the shame a child feels after a meltdown.
  • An invitation for a child to transition out of a meltdown.
  • Help for the child who struggles to admit fault.
  • The intermingling of pride and shame.
  • Leaving enough space and showing respect by letting our kids solve problems.
  • Words to use when we see our kids are stressed/tired/overwhelmed.
  • Less demeaning phrase to use than, “What were you thinking?”.
  • Special discount code for GCM listeners for anything on Kirk’s site.
  • How to get out of an argument with your child with one phrase.
  • What to say when your teenager wants to do something you don’t think is a good idea.

Connect with Kirk:

Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast

Links Mentioned:

How to listen to the podcast:

1.Listen on the blog. Click through to GodCenteredMom.com and click the play button at the beginning of this post.

2. Listen on your smartphone, iPad or iPod Touch – There are a lot of great podcasting apps. Apple has a free one (that I mentioned) in the app store, there is also one called Downcast. It allows you to search for shows, subscribe to them and even speed up the audio. If you don’t have an iDevice, you can listen via Stitcher.

3. Subscribe to the Podcast – access the podcast in iTunes (Click here to access via iTunes). You can also search for it on your smartphone app (like the ones listed above) and subscribe.


  1. Kristin Gardner

    Hi Heather! I would like a copy of the 10 phrases to use to stop a meltdown…Loved the episode!! I am a mom of 2 boys (7&3) & a School Counselor and I intend to share this with parents & teachers!!

    • Heather MacFadyen

      Hey Kristin! If you go to celebratecalm.com and scroll down to the bottom, you’ll see a place to enter your email address and get a copy of the phrases. Thanks for listening!

    • Heather MacFadyen

      Hey kristin! Just heard from Kirk Martin that if you want the 10 phrases to stop a meltdown email him directly at kirk@celebratecalm.com. Thanks so much for listening!

  2. Anna

    I signed up for the newsletter and never got the 10 phrases.

    • Heather MacFadyen

      Hey Anna! Kirk just told me that to get the 10 phrases you should email him directly. Here is his email address: Kirk@celebratecalm.com. Thanks so much!

  3. Lindsey Renee

    Thank you Heather for doing this podcast! I found it so helpful and passed it along to my dear friends! I love his phrases to use, as we are struggling with out 3 year old.

  4. Karen

    I don’t see the link for the 10 calm phrases. Went to his site as well. Link doesn’t go anywhere? Good stuff would like to compare it t my notes. I only have 6 in my notes form podcast.

  5. Chari Twitty-Hawkins

    Love the tips that Kirk gave! I will try these with my daughter. God bless!

  6. Amanda Baker

    Please send the phrases. Thank you!

    • Heather MacFadyen

      i think you can go to kirk’s website and sign up for his emails to get the phrases sent to you.

  7. Alicia Allen

    Please email 10 phrases PDF

  8. Melanie Fredrickson

    This was so helpful! I would love the ten phrases PDF! Thanks Heather 🙂

    • Heather MacFadyen

      I reached out to Kirk and he said to email him directly and get the 10 phrases. Here is his email address: kirk@celebratecalm.com Thanks for listening!

  9. Michelle O'Malley

    A friend recently introduced me to this podcast, and I am LOVING it! Thank you! I really appreciate the authenticity and the practical tips! I know he mentioned a printable pdf with helpful “go to” phrases, but I can’t seem to find it. I went to his website and signed up for it to be sent to me, and I started getting emails from Celebrate Calm, but I never got the 10 go to phrases. I seriously want to print these out and frame them so I can easily see them in those moments of emotional frustration. Thanks for your help and for all you do!

    • Heather MacFadyen

      hey michelle! I reached out to Kirk and he said to email him directly to get the 10 phrases. Here is his email address: kirk@celebratecalm.com. Thanks for listening!

  10. jacqueline

    I would like the free 10 phrases

    • Heather MacFadyen

      hey jacqueline! I reached out to Kirk and he said to email him directly to get the phrases. Here is his email address: kirk@celebratecalm.com. Thanks for listening!

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