Whether you’ve been married for a short time or you’re nearing a milestone anniversary, a healthy marriage takes a lot of work. A marriage is made up of thousands of small moments and habits that over time result in God-honoring, joyful marriage or a self-centered, strained marriage.
Speaker and author Paul David Tripp joins me to lay the groundwork for how to cultivate healthy habits in our marriage and identify the ones that need to be uprooted. He shares what he’s learned in almost 50 years of marriage and how to look at our marriages in light of the gospel.
What’s a biblical view of marriage? Well, it’s a sinner married to a sinner in a fallen world. Are you encouraged yet? But with a faithful God. Now that means we can’t just coast in our marriage because there are things inside of me and things inside of my wife that are potentially destructive to marriage because we’re not perfect people yet. And we live in a fallen world that is a threat to our marriage.
Paul also calls us to take a new view of our spouse’s differences and see how God created us for unity, not uniformity.
There is no call anywhere in the Bible to uniformity. The call is for unity. Unity is only ever needed in the face of difference… We have to stop making those differences a matter of right and wrong, If it’s not named as sin by God, then it’s just a difference and God actually glories in those differences because those differences point to his grandeur as a creator.
I hope you are encouraged and equipped from this conversation to re-engage with your spouse with fresh faith for experiencing all that God has for you in your marriage.
What we chat about:
- Marriages are made up of thousands and thousands of little moments
- The kind of relationship we have built in those moments determines how we handle the big moments
- We naturally structure our marriages around habits
- How to identify good and bad habits in your marriage
- Sin makes us self-focused and anti-social, but marriage is a covenant of community
- Helping our spouse access what God wants for them instead of arguing or nagging them
- We will always be working on our marriages. There is no place for coasting
- Confession and forgiveness can change the direction in disagreements
- Jesus did not just bare our guilt. He bore our shame
- God made us for unity, not for uniformity
- A look at why we are so vastly different from our spouse
- Even when we are formed into the image of Jesus, we will still be different from our spouse
- Tips for showing gratitude in your marriage and fostering joy
- The fruits of the Spirit are key for a good marriage
- If you are struggling in marriage, engage with community and your church family. Isolation is the enemy of a healthy marriage
Connect with Paul David Tripp:
- Gospel Parenting Paul David Tripp [Ep 176]
- Opportunity vs. Disruption Paul David Tripp [Ep 212]
- My Favorite Paul David Tripp Devotional: New Morning Mercies (Great gift for a spouse)
- Sinners Married to Sinners Cheryl Scruggs and Jae Carpenter Ep 195
- I Do Again– Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs
*Amazon Affiliate Link–at no additional cost to you, a small portion of your purchase will support this podcast
Featured Sponsor: Paul David Tripp’s Marriage Conference
Every marriage is guided by a set of habits. The question is: Are they healthy habits that result in a God-honoring and joyful marriage, or are they bad habits that lead to a self-centered and strained marriage? In this new 4-lesson seminar, pastor, marriage counselor, and best-selling author Dr. Paul David Tripp will detail the necessary habits required for a healthy marriage while identifying the bad habits that need to be uprooted.
Habits Of A Healthy Marriage is streaming live on February 8-9, 2019 with on-demand replay until December 31, 2019. Your Streaming License comes with free Discussion Questions for each of the four lessons, making it a perfect resource for a couples devotional, small group series, Sunday school class, or church-wide event.
Not Alone Community-Calm Response Growth Guide
Do you struggle with using anger in response to your kids’ misbehavior? Would you like to grow in patience but don’t know where to begin? Well, I’ve pulled together several past podcast episodes and resources to help you.
And this month as a community member you’ll also get access to a mentor chat on the topic of anger. Answering your questions about how to be more in tune with your emotions, figure out some common triggers and learn some techniques guests have shared on developing a calm response in parenting.
Thank you so much for this episode on marriage. Would you mind sharing the ted talk you mentioned that you listened to?
thanks for asking sophia! Here it is: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved?language=en&utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare
Can you link the TED talk you mentioned
thanks for asking!! here is the link: https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved?language=en&utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare