We’ve all been there. Your kid throws a fit in public and you feel the sting of embarrassment and the subtle lie that you aren’t a good enough mom. You fear what others will say and feel like the entire day is ruined in this one encounter.
My guest Elyse Fitzpatrick has lived in this place of fear and presents another way to view your worth as a mother — resting in the righteousness of Jesus. She shares about the very common and subversive idols of motherhood to slip in when we try to control our children’s performance.
But see that’s absolutely soul destroying because you either end up in fear and despair or pride and despair. That’s where you always end up when you’re living for your own righteousness. So in the days that I can lay down and in bed at night and say, ‘Yeah nailed it,’ then I am in pride.
If you’ve struggled to feel “OK” in your own power or have found your personal joy tethered to your kids’ behavior, this episode is for you. Elyse gives us the simple reminder that we have the power through Jesus to topple the idols in our life.
I began to understand this is really idolatry and I’m driving my kids insane trying to prove that I’m really an OK person. That I’m OK when they’re good and I’m a complete train wreck and bad and a loser when they’re not. But, when Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, then idols lose their power to entice us.
What we chat about:
- Elyse’s blended family structure and her son’s adoption
- The balance of the disciplinarian and the more fun parent
- Insecurity about our own faith and the lie of trying to control our kids
- The danger of looking for identity in the way our kids behave
- Looking for the places in our lives where we feel afraid, angry or worried as a barometer for where we aren’t believing God
- Identifying idols in our lives and what they can look like
- How our children make us look or feel in front of others can bring up anger in us
- Elyse’s relationship with her mother and the background of her perceived need for control
- When Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, our idols lose their power
- Not letting our joy be tethered to our kids’ behavior, or even our behavior
- Our self-centered struggle to feel “OK” in our own power
- How living for our own self righteousness leads to a soul destroying cycle of pride and despair
- Resting in the righteousness of Christ and remembering we are forgiven
Connect with Elyse:
- Front Porch with the Fitzes Podcast
- Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick **
- The Expulsive Power of a New Affection by Thomas Chalmers**
- No Other Gods Bible Study Book by Kelly Minter**
**Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.
Not Alone Community
Are you looking for more support in your motherhood? We have good news! You can become a member of the Not Alone Community and connect with people and resources to help you feel less alone.
As a member you get:
- Special access to Heather doing video interviews (archived and live)
- Curated content on each month’s topic (in October–‘Not Alone in Overwhelm’)
- past podcast episodes
- articles written by Heather
- book list
- Downloadable #CenteringTruth printable
- Community groups to chat with other moms looking for encouragement
- single moms
- moms of children with special needs
- a group to post the funny moments from our days
Idols of the Heart with Elyse Fitzpatrick
Do you feel trapped under the weight of your own sin? Are you dismayed or surprised by the situations that bring out your fear, anger, or distress? In this year’s Vertical Women Conference, trusted Bible teacher and counselor Elyse Fitzpatrick delves into the heart of the problem: deep down, we’re all putting our loves, desires, and expectations in God’s place — and we continue to suffer the consequences of our misplaced affections.
Join Elyse Fitzpatrick at Harvest Bible Chapel Spring Lake as she shows us how to better search and know our hearts, accept the help of our gracious Savior, and resist and crush the things that are trying to crush us.
Streaming Licenses are available for individuals, home groups, and churches. With a Streaming License, you’ll also receive a downloadable discussion guide to help apply the truths of this event to your life today! Take advantage of the extended summer replay until December 31, 2018.
I listened to this episode this week and thought it was fantastic. Is there a way to get the show notes for the Elyse Fitzpatrick episode? There was so much that she said that was worthy of studying again.
Thanks for your show.