Thank you all for your sweet words of encouragement, comfort & sympathy for my post on what we do when our faith fails. Thank you for understanding that this was my little struggle. I know that there are a lot of women who would love to have one child, let alone a 4th. I hope you understand my heart is not one of complaining but pure vulnerability. I also hope that you could see past my momentary struggle of trusting God and be able to relate to times when you worry, doubt or distrust God’s goodness.
I also wanted to share with y’all a very sweet & hopeful email that I received from one of the co-founders of the Intelligender product. Here is what she wrote:
Hi! I am one of the founders of IntelliGender. I saw your blog post. I loved your writings and could totally relate to your reaction. I have 4 kids. After 3 boys, I found out I was pregnant just 3 month’s post-partum. I was shocked to say the least. My only hope was that it was a girl. When I went for the ultrasound, I told all my friends and kids that there would be either a pink balloon on the mailbox or a blue one. They all said, “yeah right. There will either be a pink balloon or no balloon”. They were probably right. Thank goodness I got my little girl.
I wanted to tell you that your result doesn’t look like a strong boy result. Please know that our test is not 100% accurate. There is certainly hope! Can we send you a free test just for grins? Make sure you abstain for a couple of days and of course use first morning urine (the most important part). We will be hoping pink balloons for you!! Congratulations on your pregnancy.
The Moms of IntelliGender
It was very thoughtful of them to send a personal testimony & offer a second test. I wanted to make sure y’all understood that even though the result may be wrong and I may be having a girl. I am thankful for their product to allow me to process through my “true” feelings and review God’s goodness before I hold that precious, wonderful gift from God in my arms.
Have a wondeful day!
“Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust, make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” Ps 143:8
We are all vulnerable. Our first baby was stillborn and while I of course wanted nothing more than to bring the next baby home to raise, I had a definite gender preference. I am very grateful that I was able to find out before the birth. (and I was granted my preference)
thanks for sharing your story Sara.
I just found your blog, thanks to our mutual friend Christie sharing your Santa post on Facebook. I wanted to comment, because your words have spoken to me, in an area where I do still find myself struggling on occasion.
Our first “real” pregnancy (we had one early miscarriage, but didn’t even know we were pregnant) was a very exciting time for our whole family. We had waited a LONG time to bring children into our marriage. At 17 weeks gestation, we learned our baby would not survive, and she was delivered stillborn at 20weeks1day. We found out the gender by reading the fetal autopsy, as her body was too swollen at time of delivery. God gave us our first son just six months after losing her, and we rejoiced in His goodness! He was born full-term, ON his due date, healthy and perfect, 15 months after his big sister’s first birthday.
Two years later, we were surprised to see that second little line — our first unplanned pregnancy, but still cause for joy and excitement. The days leading up to the gender scan were terrifying, both because a part of me feared losing this child as well, and because a part of me knew this was likely our last child, and I longed for the daughter I had lost. When we found out this little one was also a boy, I cried — tears of both sadness and joy. I had to grieve the little girl I still feel “robbed” of raising. Like you, I mourned no “girlie days”, no braiding and curling hair, no cute headbands, no frilly girly tights with ruffles on the bottoms, etc etc. I still have those days, those moments, and my youngest is now three years old.
My boys are crazy energetic balls of fun, and I am so thankful for them, but I totally relate to the sorrow of the “missed girl”. I think my family will never truly feel complete because her absence is tangible, for me. I take comfort in knowing someday I will see her again in glory!