I wrote a couple weeks ago about my mini-crisis of faith. My challenge with trusting God’s plan. Doubting His calling. I was so focused on the possible “nevers” that I was missing all the future blessing & forgetting the past provision.
Tomorrow (Tuesday) is “the sonogram”. I’m ready to see this child & to know that all is well. Because of my little gender prediction test results I’ve been able to process my feelings regarding the potential fourth boy.
I have felt peace about having a fourth boy since God gave me a vision for him, but for some reason I did not have a peace about the upcoming sonogram. After talking about it with friends and my husband I realized my anxiety and dread was correlated with not knowing how to share the news from the ultrasound with those who are hoping I’ll have a girl.
When I share our special news I want to feel confident and at peace on the inside AND be able to exude confidence so others do not feel they need to express pity.
Friday morning during my time with the Lord, I laid out my concerns. In order to be still and hear a word from Him, I first expressed what I was feeling & released my anxiety. Then I waited on the Lord. (ironically Lara Williams of “To Overflowing” wrote a post on her blog that same Friday about crying out to the Lord: “for when we need direction“.)
Saturday morning during my Sabbath I spent time in prayer asking again for a clear word. I asked for a phrase I could confidently share with others about our exciting news.
At lunch that day we went to a fun local pharmacy that also is a restaurant. As we were leaving a sweet older lady, who was sitting near our table, stopped me and said, “Thank you for allowing me to relive my past by watching your boys. I had 4 boys. It was wonderful.”
She went on to tell me that when she had her 4th son a friend called her at the hospital and asked her if she cried. She was confused by the question and thought her friend was referring to the pain of childbirth. The friend clarified and said, “No did you cry when you found out it was a boy.” Her response was confidently, “Heavens no! We’re thrilled!”
She didn’t know what I had prayed for that morning. I hadn’t shared my own personal journey. She was used by God that day. Particularly when she said, “With 3 cuties like you have, who wouldn’t want a 4th one!”.
Thank you Lord. I asked for a clear, confident answer for when people ask what I’m having. This sweet stranger provided exactly what I was needing.
I have been blessed with 3 beautiful, healthy, sweet, fun, adorable, godly, loving boys…who wouldn’t want another one.
I don’t know what you are wrestling with today. I don’t know what you are worrying about. I don’t know what difficulty you are struggling through.
I do know that there is a God who loves you desperately. Who sees you. Who knows your steps from afar. He sees when you sit and when you rise. Call out to Him. Pour out your concerns. No matter how small. He hears. He cares. He will answer.
“LORD, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief…
I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
I spread out my hands to you;
I thirst for you like a parched land.
Answer me quickly, LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life. ” Ps 143: 1, 5-8
Linking up with:
Oh this sounds so familiar. My dearest friend has three boys and is pregnant with her fourth (about to deliver). It was a challenge for her to accept but now she knows God has chosen her to mother these four warriors. And I know that if He calls you, you will be the perfect one for the job. Blessings! And praising Him! (www.raisinupwarriors.blogspot.com)
Thanks Lara for stopping by and for the encouragement! I think I may have been on your friend’s blog before. If this is a boy I will definitely be following her regularly! Thank you again for writing exactly what the Holy Spirit was moving in my heart Friday and reaffirming the Spirit’s leading to cry out to the Lord for direction. look forward to meeting you in real life in a few weeks!
Thank you for sharing. That is huge to fragment the feeling from the actual event of finding out the gender. Divine meeting! What a wonderful gift that she was put in your path that day. Keep it up, Heather. Good stuff.
thanks adryan! I’m thankful that even though this journey is not major it’s teaching me life lessons of dependency on Him.
So so beautiful!!! I am so excited that God has blessed your family with another one of his children. Can’t wait for Tuesday!
What a lovely story of how God worked so beautifully in your life. He is always there for us 🙂 All the best for tomorrow Heather, you are truly an inspiration 🙂
Brought tears to my eyes! I agree with Adryan, what a gift from the Lord that you ran into that sweet lady. I LOVE that he knows just what we need to hear and encouragement we need, that he blesses us in so many creative ways. I will be sitting on the edge of my seat today and rejoice with you whatever the results!! Thank you for sharing and being so candid, your writing is a blessing to me! 🙂
Crying again reading this… Love every word!!
Stopping by from Do Not Depart.
It is always wonderful to see how God works in His own ways.
My favourite thing about my two boys so far is that they are so affectionate! They have always loved cuddles and kisses, which is so fun 🙂 I have a daughter who is more affectionate now that she has turned 4, but wasn’t very much before that. You’re in good company too – Jacob had 12 sons, I can’t remember how many daughters he had, but that’s a lot of boys!
I am Lara’s friend 🙂 Thank you for putting your heart out there like this. I can definitely relate! The Lord is so gracious, and he knows the desires of our hearts. Blessings to you on this journey.
thanks emily for your encouragement. Good to know that others are out there that understand. =)
Wanted to say hi.
As a mama of 4 boys, I also received a vision for each individually when they were born.
Many people assume that I was “trying for a girl”… =) (nope!)
The Lord gave me all boys and I am blessed beyond measure.
Blessings to you and your house of men!
thank you for saying hi! us mamas of all boys need to stick together. =) thank you for your encouraging words.
Thank you for sharing this. We have 3 boys and are going for our ultrasound Saturday morning to see if we’re having a 4th boy or a girl. I feel like (I think!!) I’ve come to accept and be happy whether this is a boy or a girl (I may be eating my words come Saturday…). But, I’ve really struggled as most of my family desperately wants me to have a girl. I’m the last one having children on my side of the family and my husband is as well. So, I’ve been struggling with how we’ll “break the news” to them if it’s a boy. Also, my boys want a little sister SO badly. I know it’s an opportunity to teach them about God’s sovereignty and goodness and how He always gives us just what we need. But, these are all things I’ve been wrestling with and asking God for wisdom about. It’s so nice to stumble upon someone who seems to completely understand. Thanks for your encouragement today!
Oh Amy yes! This post…I was totally consumed with worry about how to “break the news”. Everyone was so hopeful for a girl that I didn’t want to see the disappointment on their face. In fact my first tears were shed walking out of the ultrasound and seeing one of the nurse practioners I had known through all my other pregnancy. Her reaction just brought the tears…trying to be “brave” and “happy” on the outside when inside I was disappointed was hard. Praying God will grant you peace tomorrow morning and the perfect words. (I’ll tell ya I’m pretty head-over-heals in love with my little 4th boy right now. He is THE BEST!).