“It’s a Girl”: three deadliest words in the world

Oct 9, 2012

** I hope this post can provide prospective for your day instead of discouragement. If the words bring weight, pray. The burden you feel is your heart breaking for what breaks His. But remember you have been called to minister to your kids. love them well today and count your blessings. and pray.**

If you’ve read GodCenteredMom for the past year you know I was a “tad” disappointed (major understatement) when I learned our 4th child was a boy instead of the elusive girl.

Now, of course, I am thrilled-head-over-heels-in-love with our sweet Knox. And wouldn’t trade him for a thousand girls…but my heart broke when I read these words:

“In India, China and many other parts of the world today, girls are killed, aborted and abandoned simply because they are girls. The United Nations estimates as many as 200 million girls are missing in the world today because of this so-called “gendercide.”                       –www.ItsaGirlmovie.com 

Last Spring I first heard about the film, “It’s a Girl”, and watched this–> trailer:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISme5-9orR0?rel=0]

The film tells the stories of abandoned and trafficked girls, of women who suffer extreme dowry-related violence, of brave mothers fighting to save their daughters’ lives, and of other mothers who would kill for a son.” -www.ItsaGirlmovie.com

I had to see this film. So I arranged to have a screening at my home. Fortunately, sweet & loyal friends offered to come watch it with me (a weighty topic for a Monday night). Stories included in the movie covered the topics of:

  • Female Infanticide: The Indian woman who flippantly, with a smirk, shares how she strangled 8 (EIGHT) daughters before having her son. Or the women who demonstrate how they suffocate their girl babies. Explaining how killing them in one minute is merciful, given the lifetime of suffering these girls may endure.
  • Dowry Death: One Hindi saying compares having a daughter to raising a child for someone else. Because in their culture once a daughter marries she is no longer responsible for taking care of her parents. Her parents do not have access to any wealth she and her husband earn. With the dowry system for each daughter you pay a dowry and for each son you earn a dowry (land, cattle, goods, money). Daughter=money out; Son=money in.
  • Forced Abortion and Forced Sterilization: One family interviewed live in rural China (different laws from Urban One Child Policy). Their first child was a girl, given the rural law, they were allowed to try for a 2nd child. Another daughter.  Grandparents convinced them to try for a boy (an illegal 3rd child). Paid informants told the Chinese government about the pregnancy. Officers came to arrest the mother and force her to have an abortion. She escaped and fled to go have the baby. When the baby was 5 months old, she and her husband moved away to work in a factory, spreading the three girls to live with different relatives.  All they want is to be together with their girls, but returning means imprisonment.
  • Child Trafficking: Ironically, girl children in China are a commodity. The movie shares the story of a little girl who was kidnapped in front of her house by a family who wanted a girl for their son to marry. Fortunately this family found their daughter (after a year of searching) and the kidnappers were imprisoned. (FYI there are 37 million more men than women in China right now).

Horrific. Evil.

“Global experts and grassroots activists put the stories in
context and advocate different paths towards change, while collectively lamenting the lack of any truly effective action against this injustice.”–www.Itsagirlmovie.com

After watching the film, wiping our eyes, we sat defeated. We felt ill-equipped to make change in this enormous issue. I asked, “Does it seem the world is more evil?”

One of my friends shared her answer to the issue:

The book of Judges (in the Bible) occurs in a time when women were not valued. “People of Israel did what was evil in the sight of the Lord” (Judges 2:11, 3:7…over and over in Judges). In Judges 19 we read the account of a man offering his virgin daughter and a concubine to evil men. Those men raped the concubine all night, killing her. She was then taken and chopped into 12 pieces sent to each tribe of Israel as a warning. EVIL.

The book of the Bible which follows Judges is the book of “Ruth”. If you are familiar with this story you know the tender care, honor and respect Boaz showed towards Ruth.

Did you know the book of Ruth begins with the words, “In the day when judges ruled…”? Meaning during a time (the book of Judges), when women were defiled and chopped into pieces, a man loved a woman well. The difference with Boaz was his heart. He believed in Yahweh, the one true God. He didn’t do what was right in his own eyes but obeyed the Lord.

Evil is present. It has been present. Men will do what is right in their own eyes if their heart is not changed. May we stop now and pray for hearts to change.

*A friend posted this link to a DTS article on ways to help fight trafficking…feel they would help in these issues as well: 20 things you can do to stop human trafficking


  1. kate clarke

    the one-child policy in china has had a similar effect – people are only allowed one in towns and cities so they do backstreet ultrasound and abortions if they get a girl. Classrooms are full of one girl to nine boys. It is causing a massive percentage swing of boys in the country which can only mean girls will be in short supply. This worries me greatly as too many men in a society nearly always causes anger, frustration and war. I like your quotes from Judges. The novel ‘the Children of men’ by P.D. James shows a world that bodes badly when women stop producing children and society ages to unsustainable levels. It is quite an omen. I don’t know if I’ll press send at the end of this paragraph.
    Personally, I had a boy first and was disappointed to get a girl second as the boy was great fun and the girl was so vastly different and unpredictable!! God bless them both, they are fantastic, and the girl is a really good tomboy with a feminine streak, so I got the best of both. Enjoy your boys you have been truly blessed.

    • GodCenteredMom

      Kate, the film addresses the one child policy as well. In particular a couple who have one daughter then have an “oops” baby. They are given the choice to abort or have a baby with no citizenship (unless you pay $30,000). No citizenship means no healthcare or school. I hadn’t heard of that novel by P.D. James. I will need to check it out.

  2. Momma Jen

    Katie. My heart is so sick and heavy. I have 4 girls (1 boy) and where I live, they won’t tell you if you the gender of your child (even when I was 8 months pregnant, on my 5th month of bedrest) in certain hospitals and sonography clinics BECAUSE the girls are aborted. IN CANADA! At first I was annoyed that they wouldn’t tell me (or would they tell my physician) and I knew that there were maybe a few people who just wanted boys (strong Indo-Canadian population here) but I didn’t think it was “that” bad – except when the GOVERNMENT says we aren’t going to let you kill your babies because you just want sons – then 1. Good for the government, 2. So what if it’s slightly inconvenient for me to not know if I need girl or boy clothes – LIVES ARE BEING SAVED.

    Thank you for sharing this. I hadn’t heard about the movie. How do you acquire it for a showing?

    • GodCenteredMom

      my heart is sick to read your comment. It’s interesting to me how the topic of “gendercide” is uniting those who fight for women’s rights and those who fight pro-life. It’s become an issue of being given the opportunity to choose life. Thank you for sharing your experience. Praying and praying for this issue.

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