Accountability: the alternative to criticism

Aug 29, 2011

I have cried with every boss I’ve ever had. every. single. one.

Why would I cry? Because they  told me that something I had done was not perfect. They had given me criticism about my work and I couldn’t handle it.

I can quote every word of criticism my husband has said to me.

Why? Because he is a kind, sensitive, loving man who in 12 yrs of marriage has hardly ever criticized me. He is more likely to encourage me and turn a blind eye to my failures. But there have been a few instances where I needed a word of correction…and yet I was still terribly upset by it.

I have gotten angry with my son when he said I was using harsh words.

Why? Because there is a mom I want to be and a mom I don’t want to be. The last thing I want is for my children to be aware that I have failed.

Another symptom of pride…Being devastated or angered by criticism.

“Proud people usually struggle a great deal with criticism.  Such people cannot bear that they are not perfect or have weaknesses because they cannot accept who they really are.” -Stuart Scott

Who am I?

A sinner. Imperfect.  Never good enough on my own strength.

and also…

Forgiven. Perfect through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross. Dependent on Him.

To be humble I need to be open about who I am & the areas in which I need to grow, particularly in the Lord. I need to ask for help and accountability in the repentance process, knowing I need the body of Christ (Stuart Scott).

Particularly with my spouse and children, I should be open to their correction knowing that they love me more than anyone else on this earth! Recognizing that we are on the same team is a HUGE step to accepting their correction on areas I may need to change and grow.

photo credit: alancleaver_2000’s

“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently…Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. “ Philippians 6:1-2

As Christ followers, we are called to keep each other accountable. However, we don’t want to go around judging others and being critical of every little fault.  We do need to be in fellowship with believers whom we can share our burdens with. Whom we can be vulnerable with to have deep conversations and who can gently correct us.

Do you struggle with criticism from others? Do you have friends or family in your life that can be honest with you and keep you accountable? What changes do you need to make in your heart to humbly accept correction? Which friend can you ask to keep you accountable?

*To read other “Symptoms of Self” articles, click on the link.

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  1. Stefanie Brown

    Criticism has been my sworn enemy. Constructive… Destructive… It didn’t matter. In my mind, when criticism came, I internalized it and then beat myself up with it. It’s only been recently, in the last 2-3 years, that I’ve really allowed God to help me see me as He does. He’s helped me to differentiate between constructive and destructive, taking each for what it’s worth.
    Thank you for this post. I appreciate your transparency.
    Looking forward to seeing you again…

    • Heather MacFadyen

      oooo…yes! the constructive vs. destructive. so very true. Great advice to allow God to help us see ourselves as He does…the good and the bad! looking forward to lunch.

  2. Michelle (@2BeStill)

    I agree with both you and Stefanie…. I just beat myself up with it. Especially if it’s something constructive. I don’t know why that’s worse, but it is. I’m trying really hard to just learn from it and improve myself, rather than beat myself up. But it is a struggle!

  3. Kathryn

    Criticism is awful and obviously the enemies voice. Such a good post, to see comments and know there areothera that are fighting to drown out the enemy and hear God’s praise.

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